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“Doing nothing accomplishes nothing, gains nothing, changes nothing, and wins nothing. You have to make a move.”
Happy New Year!!!
I wish you… To be Healthy. To… Be Happy. To laugh a lot. To feel love. To be Respected and Appreciated. To be happy with your body, to achieve financial Success.
To have Great Sex. To travel, and just… live the life of your dreams. That’s what I wish for you, so HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you’ve been following my video series you know I took some time off… And God I’ve missed you so much, I couldn’t wait to come back – and here I am! I’ve had good reasons for not being in front of the camera and I’ll explain more next week when the category videos will start… But in case you didn’t know, every month I launch a video for each of the 4 categories we talk about… One video is about Personal Growth, one video about Relationships & Sex, another is in Fashion & Beauty and the 4th is about Career & Money.
So next week’s Personal Growth video will be a Part 2 on How to Deal with depression. I think it’s actually going to be my best video yet, it’s taken me weeks to write the content for it, I dug really deep, and I think it will be really rich in tips and how to steps for you, so I really hope you’ll enjoy it and find value in it.
But – today – I am talking RESOLUTIONS.
You know… those little New Year decisions to do or not to do something.
Estimates say that more than 45% of Americans made New Year resolutions at the beginning of 2014 but only 8% were actually successful in achieving them. You guys, that’s more than 130,000,000 Americans that wanted something specific and didn’t achieve it. Factor in… umm… THE WORLD, and we’re now talking about hundreds of millions of amazing people wanting to achieve something in the New Year but not being able to fulfill it.
https://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/
So why can’t we achieve our resolutions? Well… there are many reasons why: Could be because some of the resolutions we’re making are unrealistic to our lifestyle. Another reason could be that we’ve set out goals not because we want them, but based on what we think we “should” or “shouldn’t” do – so, because they’re not genuine, we don’t believe in those goals and don’t follow through. They maybe could be superficial and unspecific resolutions, or simply have too many resolutions, we get overwhelmed and say fuck it!
Among the top resolutions folks made last year were weight loss, exercise more, quit smoking, better money management, debt reduction and getting more organized.
My personal list this year includes:
Losing10 pounds I’ve gained porking like wildebeest, by dropping soda, rice, and lowering my calorie intake to 1,400 calories per day.
Doing yoga twice a week. Consistently.
Cooking at least 3 dinners per week.
And making more of an effort to connect with the people I love by setting weekly reminders to call and text them.
I had about 20 more things I wanted to add to the list, but that will be too much like I mentioned earlier, so I cut it down to the top 4 resolutions that are realistic to my lifestyle, and that matter most to me.
So let’s talk about what it takes to KEEP our Resolutions. Here are some of my best tips:
Tip #1. Be specific.
Don’t just say I want to lose weight. A resolution about losing weight is not specific enough, which means it won’t be that easy to follow and accomplish. Be specific. How much? And how? In the resolutions I shared with you, I gave you a perfect example: I didn’t just say I want to lose 10 pounds. I said lose 10 pounds by dropping soda, rice, and lowering my calorie intake to 1,400 calories per day. That is targeted, that is specific, a plan is involved. Seriously, if you were in front of Alex and Sophie. And Sophie said “My resolution is to lose 10 pounds” then Alex said: “My resolution is to lose 10 pounds by dropping soda, rice, and lowering my calories to 1,400 per day.” – who in your opinion has a higher chance of successfully dropping the 10 pounds?
So remember this: vague goals can’t be successfully measured and they won’t yield the wanted results. Be specific with what you want and outline the steps that you think are needed to get you there. What do you think, will take to accomplish your goalS. Think about it, then in addition to the specific goal, write down the specific steps.
#2. Make ‘em tangible.
Overzealous resolutions may seem inspiring, you’d be like AH, I’M GONNA PUSH MYSELF TO THE HIGHEST LIMIT CUZ I’M A GOGETTER. But the difficulty in achieving unrealistic goals will lead to frustration and that in return will lead to failure. So you’ll have nothing, as opposed to something.
There’s no way in hell I can do a healthy drop 15 pounds. I’d like it, but my body has a bigger girl structure so I’ll never be supermodel thin. So to set a goal to look skinny like Miranda Kerr, is not only not tangible, it’s stupid of me. So this is very important – make sure that your resolutions are realistic to your lifestyle and your circumstances.
#Numero tres. Write down your resolutions.
Typically, folks who write down their goals are far more likely to achieve them, compared to those who don’t and only make mental vows.
So add a layer of fortitude to your goals, by bring them into the physical world. You can do that by creating a vision board, or sharing them with your friends and family – which is also a good way to build accountability, especially in the age of social media. So write down these specific, tangible resolutions and keep that note handy. Now I’d also like for you to limit your resolutions to 4. Tops. And prioritize them, with #1 being the most important resolution on your list, the first one you want to tackle. And I have a little surprise for you: To help you out, I’ve created a PDF that you can print straight from my website. It’s got columns to list your resolutions in order of priority, and several rows for you to write the steps you need to take to accomplish them, so that will be really helpful to keep things in perspective for you. The link to it is in the video description below.
#4. Outline the benefits.
Aside from being specific and setting realistic goals, another key element in your success is to identify the benefits you’ll experience once you achieve your resolutions. Sit down and think for a moment. Why do you want to drop the weight? Is it to reduce the risk for heart disease? Is it because this realistic amount of weight loss will help improve your self-esteem and make you feel so much better about yourself than you do now? Sometimes, a very simple Pros and Cons list can help you identify those benefits. Nonetheless, having the resolution benefits clearly identified, and figuring out why you want to accomplish them, and how you’ll feel once achieved, will create a more vivid imprint in your mind, that will help with the willpower you’ll need throughout the process of achieving them.
Now, it’s also important to constantly remind yourself of your goals and the benefits associated with them. That includes calendar alerts and post it notes in different places of the house pertinent to the goal. These reminders will help recapture some that initial desire and intensity, which will help upkeep your strength to keep going.
Here’s an example: If you’re trying to lose weight and for whatever reason you can’t completely get rid of all the bad food in your house, place the bad foods in contained areas. So instead of having a bag of chips here and some Twinkies there, place them all in the same spot, in a closed covert, and place some empowering, motivational post it notes inside that covert, reminding you, why you’re not eating them. Reminding you what you’ll feel if you accomplish your goal will be a very powerful tool to help your will power. Does that make sense?
#5. Be prepared for obstacles.
After you identify the benefits of your resolutions and how you’ll feel once you achieve them, it will also be wise of you to identify some the obstacles that might be getting in the way of achieving your goals, as well as start identifying a couple of options to help you overcome those obstacles. For example, on days when weather conditions don’t make it comfortable for you to drive to the gym, have a couple of DVDs at home, ready for you to pop in workout to. So rather than dropping the ball all together because you can’t go to the gym, you can exercise at home. You were prepared and overcame the obstacle.
Planning ahead will help assure your success. In the pdf I mentioned, you also have columns to outline the benefits for each resolution, the obstacles, and more. So, it’s really exciting!
#6. Check for apps.
With the abundance of apps out there, you’re pretty much not gonna have a problem finding an app for just about any and every resolution you have. My Fitness Pal will track your calories, WeightRecord will keep track of your weight throughout, Toshl Finance can help you with your personal spending, and so forth. And I’ll actually share more about the finance app I use in next week’s Personal Growth video.
The idea is that the more people and gadgets and tools and reminders you have in your corner, backing you up, the higher your chance of success will be.
#7. Deal with only one resolution at a time.
This is very important because focusing on more than one resolution in the same time can lead to “cognitive overload”, which will make it very difficult for your brain to properly handle all the moving elements. Focusing your attention entirely on one task will have a much greater chance of success, as opposed to shifting focus from one resolution to another and be all over the place. So my suggestion to you, is to start with one resolution until you achieve a benchmark you’re satisfied with. In other words, when the steps you’re taking to achieve that first resolution on your list have become so habitual that no interruptions will appear as a result of a shift in focus, then and only then, should you add a second resolution into the mix.
So the first resolution is here, right? You’re been working hard for it, and now it’s strong, a habit has been formed, so it doesn’t need as much babysitting as it did at first. So with #1 on cruise control, guess what – we’re strong and ready to add a second resolution goal from your list. So you continue #1, while babying #2, when #2 resolution is also on cruise control, keep 1 and 2 at speed, while adding #3. And so on, you keep going down the list but you’re doing it strategically, and methodically and giving yourself an actual fighting chance to succeed. So focus on one resolution at a time.
#8. Be mindful of what your brain can handle.
Let me explain:
In order for us to materialize our resolutions, we need willpower, right? Now – the brain cells operating the “willpower” are located in the pre-frontal cortex, which is the area right behind your forehead. That area of the brain is also responsible for our short-term memory, staying focused and solving abstract tasks. Just a small fact.
Now, this pre-frontal cortex is like a muscle. And like any muscle in your body, in order to handle the demand you want placed on it, it has to be trained. And if you haven’t been practicing consistent goal keeping via willpower throughout the year, come January 1, you’re essentially asking this muscle to lift 300 pound weights without any previous training. And we all know that’s not good.
Now I want you to keep this in mind: we are not born with strong willpower, it’s not a… character trait. It’s through constant exercise that we strengthen it. So don’t feel singled out. Like with anything, that muscle just needs conditioning in order to succed.
So how do we succeed? Great question! We start by taking baby steps. Small habits turn into successful long-term resolutions. That means breaking down each goal as much as you can, all the way down to the easiest and most simple task.
So if you haven’t been to the gym in a while but your resolution is go 5 times a week, don’t start by going 5 times a week, you’ll fatigue and you’ll be so over it in a hot second and drop the whole thing all together. Why do you think the gym is packed the first 2 weeks in January and then…. not!?
So instead of going 5 times off the bad, start by going twice a week. Consistently. Do that for 3 months until it becomes a habit, then increase to 3 times a week. Do that for another month, then go to 4 times a week and so forth. You’re building strength and resistance, not killing yourself and getting worn-out. And that will help you not only reach, but keep up your resolution.
Quitting smoking can start by counting how many cigarettes you smoke, and cut down by 1 cigarette every week. So if you smoke 20 cigarettes per day, smoke 19 for a whole week. Then drop to 18 the following week and so on.
If you want to have $5,000 in savings by the end of the year, figure out how to put away $100 per week. That could mean cutting something that’s not vital to your health and wellbeing, and placing that amount in the savings account instead.
Whatever your goals may be, I think you see where I’m going with this. Baby steps. Take the big picture and break it down into small polaroids. Just remember to identify these small steps before starting out.
#9. Use checklists to track your progress.
As you take on one small step at a time, check it off your list of planned steps. The visual image of seeing yourself doing all these things, crossing all these to-do’s off your list and making progress, will create stimuli to help you nurture the willpower we talked about. Don’t forget to print out the checklist I did for you, the link is in the video description.
#10. Hold yourself accountable.
As life gets in the way and you’re tired, stressed, preoccupied and busy with everything else you have going on in your life, it will be easy to let some things slide. Oh, I’m just so tired, I can’t work out today, but I’ll do it tomorrow morning instead. But guess what! You’re not really a 4 AM person, which is when you need to get up, go to the gym, work out, take a shower and get ready in time for work, so tomorrow morning won’t happen. And just like that, you shot yourself in the foot.
Consistency his key in changing mindsets and building new habits and without it, might as well throw everything you’ve done so far, out the door. Even when it’s hard, you have to get up and do it. Maybe that’s when it will be good to keep that list of benefits handy… To remind you of WHY you’re on a mission, why you want to keep to your resolutions, and how you will feel once you achieve them. Hold yourself accountable!
#11. Reward yourself as you make progress. (“My favorite part”)
Rewarding yourself with things that make you feel good, will help increase your success rate. Think… buying yourself a little something-something that’s within your budget, a nice bubble bath, movie night, club outing, or even snacking on an unhealthy treat after a week of clean eating. That’s perfectly fine and you’ll insure that you’re not depriving yourself too much. Just make sure that the rewards won’t work against your goals if that makes sense.
#12. Realize that you may screw up, but you have to keep at it.
No matter how many obstacles you could have possibly foreseen and planned for, there will be times when you’ll fall off the wagon. The key is to “A” not stress yourself over it – it happens to every person on the planet, and “B” you have to immediately get back on track, and not create any more delays.
Obsessing over a slip up won’t help you achieve your goals. So don’t beat yourself up and just do your best. So today sucked. So what! One bad day won’t overturn a week of good doing. Just go out of your way to make sure it won’t happen again for a while, that’s all.
Tip #13. Enjoy the ride.
When you’re stressed or overwhelmed, you’re more likely to miss the mark and get derailed from your goals, so stress-management is actually very important in the process of keeping up with your resolutions. Try breathing exercises, yoga, meditation, walking, watching funny movies or listening to music that makes you smile – whatever works for you. Just – every day, do something that puts you in a good mood. That will also be very important to your ultimate success.
#14. Assessment time.
So if you’ve been working on your resolution for a couple of months but don’t see any results, the solution is not to give up, but to reassess the goal, then the plan, and if need be, make modifications. It’s perfectly ok to do that. Maybe the resolution was unrealistic to begin with, and there was no way for you to know that until you were in the middle of fire, thinking, hmmmm… this is a little too hot in here. Resolutions are about becoming better versions of ourselves, not some unrealistic “perfect” image. So keep a pulse on your progress. Increase or decrease the speed according to your results.
Tip #15 is to have some orange juice.
If your resolution involves self-restraint, like – not eating that junk, not smoking that cigarette, not doing that shopping – that restraint can reduce your blood glucose to levels that are less-than-optimal. So a glass of fresh orange juice, as simple as it sounds, contains natural sugar that will cause blood sugar levels to rise. The brain relies almost exclusively on glucose for energy, so it’s very important to always replenish those needs.
Keeping your mind and your body happy and strong.
So tell me what you think of this video, leave me a comment, like and share if you want to help me spread the word, and definitely let me know if you have any ideas for future videos, or if there’s something you want me to talk about.
Next week in the new Personal Growth video I am going to share a lot more tips on how to deal with depression. It’s going to be a part 2, part 1 is linked below if you want to catch up and I’m actually really excited about this one, I can’t wait to post it!
Leave me a comment or ask me your questions below, on my FB page, or Twitter and Instagram using #askAlexandraP. And…
Oh yeah…. I’m thinking about doing a giveaway soon. I’m just trying to figure out what that should be, what prize to have, so let me know if you have any thoughts on that as well.
I love you for watching and… being in my life… having me in yours. I’ve REALLY missed you guys and missed doing this, so it’s REALLY nice to see you again, thank you for being on this ride with me, I’ll see you next Thursday!
Bye!
“Don’t make empty resolutions about this or that external little thing – make one huge resolution to give yourself to yourself. Then everything else will quite effortlessly fall into place.”
