Hi, welcome to a new video! (video below)
This week, in the Personal Growth category, I will give you 10 tips to help deal with depression.
I’m taking your questions, so ask in a comment below, on my Facebook page, or on Twitter & Instagram using #askalexandra. All the links to reach me are below. Also today, I’ll start a new tradition, and that’s giving out a fan shout out. I’m receiving so many kind comments, and I want to start recognizing the amazing people behind them. So watch for that, see if it’s you, and grab your journal to take down notes.
HERE is the video that explains how to properly use the journal.
Now.
Most of us had had to deal with some level of depression at some point in time. It drains your energy, your hope and drive, ALL things that we need to get passed it and feel better.
5 years ago, I was going through a divorce AND a bankruptcy IN the same time. I didn’t have any money, my car got repossessed, my cell phone cut off, same thing with the electricity, and the economic situation at that time, made it really difficult to find a job. At some point, because I needed to make money, I started working a restaurant job as seating hostess.
I felt… very depressed because I lost everything I left my native country to accomplish. Lonely, because I didn’t have any family here in the US to fall back on, and my all time low, came the moment I had to sit at restaurant tables, the same people I used to do business with not long before then. My ego was INSTANTLY leveled out. And during that time, one of the girls I considered like a sister- emails me, telling me she’s breaking up our friendship, because I’m too flaky. Mind you, I had so much on my plate, the last thing I could do or afford, was to go out for cocktails. That spiraled me into an all time low, and I was so depressed, I couldn’t get out of bed.
But then, one my dearest friends to this day, Hey Rheena Mae, introduced me to “The secret”. The film is really cheesy, but none the less, it restarted the fire in me. And since then, I’ve dedicated myself to finding the most practical STEP by STEP solutions that will help me live the best life I can possibly live, get better, find love and success again, and since everything worked out so perfectly, I wanted to give back, and I’m doing so through this series.
Now, while overcoming depression isn’t quick or easy, it’s not impossible. BUT it DOES require action. And when you’re depressed, that can be REALLY hard. However. If you force yourself to do it, you will get past it.
The 1st thing that you need to do, is clearly identify the source or sources of depression. Write them down, because that will help declutter some of the mental cloudiness you have. If your depression stems from anything having to do with guilt or regret, below is a link to a video that has the most detailed steps on how to let go of guilt and regret. Watch it.
#2. Avoid obsessing over your depression. I know it’s hard, but the more you think about your pain, the more you create a loop of hopelessness, anger toward your yourself, and that will deepen your anguish. The moment you catch yourself thinking about it, in that moment do something to take your mind away from it.
#3. Don’t be hard on yourself. Try really hard NOT to get irritated by the fact that you can’t get over it as quickly as you want to. This feeling WILL pass. Put post its around your house reminding you that it WILL go away. You have to acknowledge that, but you’ll also have to accept that the journey to wellness IS a matter of time and taking baby steps. And talking about baby steps,
#4 is to start small. The key to recovering is to start setting a few small goals, and slowly building from there. Things like calling a friend or a family member once a week, every week. Going for a short walk around the block. Watching an empowering personal growth video or movie. Don’t get overwhelmed thinking about tomorrow, take things one day at a time, and set baby goals. These steps may seem small, but they will quickly add up, and in the meantime, they will help start taking your mind away from the negative.
#5. List all of your good points. When you’re depressed, it’s easy to see everything that’s wrong with you and your life. But the positives are there. Start with the fact that you have the eyes to watch this right now, the ears to hear, and the hand that’s writing down the notes. Include any achievements you may have, however few or random they may seem. Are you good at fixing cars, or doing your own manicure? List everything that is good about you.
#6. Use positive affirmations. On my website, I will make a post with some positive statements that you can use. Right now though, I want you to close your eyes and say to yourself: “I can do this. Everything will get better!”
#7. Cultivate supportive relationships. When you’re on your own, it can be really hard to maintain the effort and perspective you need to get through the fog of depression, so getting the support you need, plays a really big role in clearing up the murkiness of these feelings. Isolation and loneliness WILL make the depression even worse, trust me on this! Now… the thought of reaching out to people can seem embarrassing. But that’s just your ego getting in the way, and the depression talking. There is NO shame in reaching out to people who love and care about you. I would also urge you to consider joining a support group. Being around other people dealing with the same problem, can help reduce the feeling of isolation. Also, when you encourage other people, when you give and receive advice, and share your experiences, is empowering and freeing.
#8. As you cultivate these relationships I mentioned in #7, make sure that you are around positive people as much as possible. Spend time around people who make you feel good. Outside of any support group, being in the company of somebody else that’s down, will not serve either one of you any good.
#9. Find a role model. Do a little research online to find famous people who have overcome depression. Look up some biographies of accomplished people. It's very likely that you’ll find at least one high achiever that suffered from depression. Look up stories of celebrities who came public about their battles with depression. There are so many of them: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Gwyneth Paltrow, Owen Wilson, Ashley Judd, Demi Lovato… Read about people who have overcome depression, know that you are not alone, and see what others did to get past it.
#10. List the things that worry you, that are separate from your depression. It could be a job that you don’t love, outstanding bills, stress in your relationship. And then in a separate column, write down some practical solutions that you think will help you solve the issues that concern you. If you don’t love your job, watch my last video about How to find a job you love, follow the steps and get started. Put a payment plan in place that will help pay off your debts. Plan a date and time when you can be alone with your partner and talk openly about the things that bother you, and provide your partner with some solutions that he or she could do to help you.
These are just 10 tips, but I have so many more points on how to deal with depression, that will help with your spirit, your mind, body and eating habits, and I will share them in the next Personal Growth video, so subscribe to my YouTube channel and join me at alexandrapotora.com. Starting next month I will be sending my subscribers exclusives tips and affirmations that will help immensely.
Ask me your questions, I will answer you, and stay tuned for more.
Before we say our goodbyes. I’d like to give a fan shout out to Laura Balaban. She’s been a devoted supporter of this video series since day 1. She’s shared, liked and commented on almost every video, So Laura, THANK YOU!
A video is coming next week in the Relationships & Sex category, about dating deal breakers. I love you for watching today, please be kind to yourself and to all those around you!
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